DEAR DEIDRE: I CHEATED on my fiancée with a sex worker. The girl was very good-hunting but the sex was cold and not like the lovemaking I share with my beautiful fiancée, so why did I do it?
I was on my way residence from operate final week and in a moment of madness I decided to turn off to a location on a nearby industrial estate exactly where the girls promote as masseuses but it is definitely a brothel.
Even although I made use of a condom for the reason that I was scared of having an infection and passing it on, I nonetheless be concerned I could possibly have caught some thing. My fiancée certainly does not deserve that.
She is 33 and I am 35. We have been collectively for 4 years and we have a excellent partnership.
I want I could say it was the initial time I have paid for sex but it is not. I have slept with 15 sex workers just this year.
Every time I inform myself it is the final but then I go and do it once more. My want for sex with them gets the improved of me. I do not look to have any willpower.
I preserve kidding myself that I am just a regular bloke with requirements but I wonder if I have a sex addiction, even although till this year I have by no means performed this sort of point ahead of.
I know I am risking almost everything. I have attempted so difficult to cease but I just can not look to. Confessing to my fiancée is out of the query. It would imply the finish of our partnership.
I do like her but the truth is I am having stressed more than no matter if I in fact want to get married. Every time some thing is booked for the wedding I really feel additional and additional trapped.
I know I am struggling with commitment. Is this the purpose why I go with prostitutes?
Practically 1 in 3 of us is sleep-deprived, placing us additional at danger of mental overall health and partnership complications.
My leaflet Sleep Troubles reveals how to get a very good night’s sleep without having medication.
For a copy, e mail me or message me on Facebook.
E mail [email protected] or private message me on my Dear Deidre Facebook.
Caught my girl in bed with one more man… then he did some thing I did not count on
SEX WITH SISTER
I had sex with my sister and now we are having a full-on relationship
My girl’s wild step-sister seduced me in toilets and I’m disgusted with myself
My brother-in-law is my daughter’s real father… and my husband has no idea
More, more, more!
Hot romps with sex-on-legs housemate always leaves me wanting more
Family are furious over my hot sex with brother’s sister in law
I had hot sex with my 53-year-old mum-in-law while my wife was on life support
I’ve been bedding my ‘uncle’ and now his son is blackmailing me into having sex
Love my girlfriend, but find I get more pleasure from porn than sex with her
I had hot sex at Glastonbury… but I was the 20th guy she’d bedded that weekend
DEIDRE SAYS: Most people have wobbly moments as their wedding approaches but perhaps you have been let down in the past or seen your parents split up and this has made you wary of commitment.
But paying for sex means you are supporting a generally grim, exploitative industry and you risk your sexual health and your fiancée’s by having sex with strangers.
You can stop but it will take willpower and you probably need support.
Sex gives a sort of chemical high. In your case it has probably become addictive because you are suffering some sort of underlying depression which having sex – maybe especially illicit sex – temporarily relieves.
My e-leaflet Addicted To Sex? explains practical self-help tactics. You can also follow the free online Kick Start Recovery Programme at sexaddictionhelp.co.uk.
Get a check-up at your local genito-urinary medicine clinic.
Ask their advice on whether your fiancée should have one too.
NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE All I crave is cuddles and not sex, but it’s putting strain on my 40 year marriage — what can I do to change?
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Mike goes for a drink with Annette and starts having doubts about his marriage
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